First day of Summer

I have been bestfriends with bad luck these past few days. I took the statistics finals and I failed (I SEE IT COMING OKAY) my FIRST JOB interview. I was so sad about my summer job. It's the first real thing. But I failed. I always fail. And fuck that! Rarrrrrrrrrr talaga. I wanna burst out out out. Bahala na. BAHALA NA. BUT I THINK, forces of nature are against my summer job. First, fail ng skype ko. Super FAIL, nagloloko pa yung net connection. Thanks talaga! Tapos tapos super grabeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I screwed up in my mock lessons. Super SCREWED BIG TIME. Ang dali lang nun e, pero wala fail ako. :((

Now, I am meeting up with my friends. I WANNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY and be HAPPY after crying.

PS THIS JOB THING wont spoil my summer. No-no-no! :D

IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMERRRRRRRRRRRRRR :D

Gotta love fridays

And so friday was bittersweet to me.

It was sweet! Joe and I went road tripping. Endless stories and gossips before flying to Italy for 2 months. Catching up at its best! And the best-est of it all, she is going back to our old dormitory next semester! :) We are going to be room mates again FTW! Back to our old set-ups but I promise to be a more exciting person next semester, dropping those books for a MORE fun life in college. Hihihi :> BUT being a good girl I am, I'd still set a fine line between things. THAT'S A SURE THING.

It was bitter? I got my statistics prefinal grade and I am not exempted for crying out loud! Studying for a week for a certain exam, and getting a flunking grade! Awwwww! And sings.. I did my best but my best wasn't good enough.. FOIN. FOIN. FOIN. I was so depressed that time. My sadness doubled when I went window shopping in Rockwell, and boo I am bankrupt! Too much for the perfect summer dresses I saw. Too much for the books, awww too many books but too small budget. Hahahaha. Good thing Mama treated me coffee :) And on our way home, I told her about my sentiments about my academics. I also told her that I WAS thinking twice of entering a law school. I told her that I really have zero self-esteem now. It's like I am losing hope. I told her all of my imperfections. I told her that I suck in writing (like in this entry haha). I am not good in debating. I am not good in speaking. I am not good in reading. BUT I really love what she replied to me. She asked me, "You think you're good? Why, do you think you're the best?". Wow, at first, I wanted to cry a pail when I heard that. But when she started rolling her dice, I understood everything she wanted to say. She told me that no one's the best, it's like we are all struggling. We are all struggling to be the best. We are all trying hard. She also reminded me to pray to God. :) I really really love my mom! :D

And truly that was one of the best fridays I will never ever forget. :)

Optimism in a blog entry :)

I cried real hard a while ago. And while crying, I remember what my friend told me. She said that if your tears are salty, you really cried because of burst of true emotions. Unhygienic it is but my tears were salty, wow BURST OF TRUE EMOTIONS eh?

In a few days, I'll start with my work. Even though happenings make me feel gloomy these days, I still have some traces of optimism with me. And that's what I am holding on to right now.

OPTIMISM.

I'll endure. I'll survive. I will with optimism and God! :D

YES things are messed up here in my small space. But I'll fix it after a week. So what's up? I am getting a part-time job. It excites me 'cause it will be my first time to earn REAL money from my hard work.

Yes this is great. Independence at its pure form, legit and grounded.

Yes I still have God in my heart, I never forget you. NEVER.

With regards to romance, we'd go zero. :) It's not a need to always be in love. It doesnt matter to me that I don't have someone to think about while listening to love songs. I really doesn't matter. Yes, I do have fantasies and God knows how I am trying to keep the clear, fine line between fantasy and reality. It's not about getting schizo or what. It's escaping and flirting with fantasy. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just flirting to fill in the human need and NOTHING MORE.

So, that's it.